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2023-09-24 17:51:23

Who stands by during bad times?

Naem Nizam

Who stands by during bad times?

Who stands by during bad times? ‘Prosperity brings friends, adversity tries them.’ When you fall into deep trouble, nobody will stand by you. Instead, your near and dear ones will spread your ignominy by costing money. Luckily, we have got social media. We are getting a lot of information from it. The inner and ugly face of human beings is coming out through social media. Today, we don’t need informers to get pre-wedding information of any side. Even, we don’t need to ask neighbours and don’t need to wait a long time for information. All information is available on the person’s social media profile. Social media profile tells a person’s political ideology, family and social position, personal activities and even personal character. 

The era of the internet has changed the people. People are expressing their ugliest position of the mind in the name of practising knowledge through social media. The viral era has destroyed the sense of humanity. A dirty culture grips everything. Normal and well-balanced people can’t be abreast of this trend. How are they abreast? Surroundings have changed with time. Dear ones are changes in the decaying society. The light of hope is defeated to the filth. There is no such thing as relative or unrelated. There is a lot of relative during good times. ‘To know how many beans, make five’ is understood during bad times. In practical life, flatterers change their faces at times. At one stage, they left. The bonding of the relationship is now very frail.

Love is changed in times. All do acting of being well. It is very tough to understand who is good and who is bad in practical life. None speaks now despite watching many things. They choose the better option of silence.   

At a young age, prominent Bengali spiritual leader and philosopher Lalon Fakir was infected with smallpox during his spiritual travel. His companions thought that Lalon passed away. All of them left him and floated on a raft. Lalon was floating in the Kaliganga River. Molom Shah and his wife Motijaan found Lalon floating in the river. They rescued Lalon. He was very sick and was almost going to die. But Molom Shah and Motijaan took very well care and gradually Lalon recovered from his illness. Later, Lalon’s lifestyle and thinking had changed. He got the company of Siraj Sai. After that, a new history was started. Nobody rescues Lalon Fakir in the present time. If the people are educated, they would observe the situation at first. Then they forgot to call 999. They would take a selfie first. Then they would try to viral him or her. 

The COVID-19 pandemic has finished many things. It also destroyed humanity and family life. Many children left their corona-infected parents in forests and streets. Local administration or police were used to rescue those helpless persons. The administration didn’t find family members of those ill-fated people by miking and through the media. There are endless complexities in the global family. Humanity is now just a word. The reality is very cruel. Life is becoming tough day by day. The number of broken families is also increasing. Children of wealthy families don’t feel comfortable staying with their parents. Many of them choose nursing homes for their old-aged parents. Divorce is now common scenery in society. The number of divorces has increased in the post-Covid period. Gala marriage ceremony is also a common scene in our society. Many celebrities come to these marriage ceremonies from abroad. After two months their family breaks up.                                         

In the past, if any divorce occurred, the two sides remained silent. But now, they harass each other through social media. Then we see case and counter case. I went to a wedding ceremony one year ago. Both bride and bridegroom are highly educated and their families are also established.  Their ‘Gaye Holud’ or ‘Haldi Ceremony’ was held at a resort adjacent to Dhaka. There was a cultural programme alongside a heavy meal. In a word, it was a big party. A few days ago, during a meeting a member of that family told me that the couple filed for divorce after one year. I was surprised. After marriage, the couple went abroad. Just three months later their problems started over cooking and two families of the couple were also engaged in the matter. And finally, they got separated. Now family of the wife is busy giving punishment to the husband.  The whole family is busy with the court and the police. The husband's family requested a relative to settle the issue. That relative made the situation more complex. He started going wife’s house regularly. Wife's side has a police officer. He filed several cases against the family members and relatives of the husband, although he is staying abroad. 

The stories of all the sorrows of the people are almost the same. The sorrows and deprives are the same in all families. I went to my village home a few days ago. One villager said, “Brother, I have sent all of my earnings to the family. After returning home, I saw that all members of my family had property. But I have nothing. I can’t understand how I can manage my family now.”

The life of expatriates is miserable. The expats in the Middle East suffer a lot. They are deprived of life and family and sacrifice their own life for the family. While returning to the country they face first harassment at the airport. After that they see everything has changed in their families. Members of their families, relatives and neighbours have taken from them. Despite their best efforts for the family and relatives, they can’t make happiness for all. They need much more.

I am describing another story of a woman entrepreneur. She established herself gradually. She started her career with a job. Then, she established a business organisation. The self-reliant woman also helped her siblings and relatives with their establishment by providing cash, jobs, business and sending abroad. She didn’t expect recompense. She emphasized living better with all. Although she knows it is very tough to pass the days in such a way, she tries for it.

All beneficiaries used to express joy seeing the woman. They also used to say, “We are well for your help and kindness.” But at one stage, all of them started gossiping about this entrepreneur’s life. They started to say how she earned a lot of money in a hurry. They also started thinking of her character. Many relatives were asking why she went on foreign trips regularly. Many were saying they heard she drinks wine. These relatives started to pour poison on the life of the lady. They started spreading scandal also. Finally, they wanted to give punishment to her. And they got the chance. One brother of this woman quarrelled with his wife. Case filed in this regard. Relatives of the entrepreneur went to the house of the father-in-law of her brother to take stern action against the woman’s family. They started to say sister is behind in the personal matters of the brother and his wife. A case should be registered against her. This woman entrepreneur was shocked by such behaviours of her relatives. “They are returning my efforts for them by cruelty,” she lamented.         

Writer: Editor, Bangladesh Pratidin

@ The article was published on print and online versions of The Bangladesh Pratidin on September 24, 2023, and has been rewritten in English by Golam Rosul.

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